fish or bird
xx
my distant star
we were at the mall and it was empty
i was in the changing room
taking off an awful dress
and suddenly i was covered in wounds again
and you were sent inside the changing room too
close to see
all shame at the surface
and in a blink we left
and i wanted you to sit next to me but
you saw my rotting and chose the backseat
i blame fate
god vs. big pharma
carved me
and i thank them all the same
shoved burning to the back of my mind
can't let it stop you from driving
cockroaches in the car
hovering near 0
a miracle fills up the tank
but the dealer didn't tell me it was broken before i bought it so
he made it inside this poem
maybe i was meek
but i'll still make sure you remember now,
what you did when I couldn't fight back
and all you saw was beggar
i forgive you for the fumes inhaled
that settled into the lymph
blue vervain
blue vervain
see now my hair is long
i'm a little fresher
sharpened
some sea creature still struggling to breathe
alongside the rest of the planet
back again on this island of falling apart
asking where is my home now
where is my home
air pressure moves the phlegm
turns to swords inside my ear canals
maybe the answer comes in daring to listen
--really listen
to her
she simmers red
waits
steaming
she is the blood that makes the ground warm
a rich and moistened clay
and you cannot look her in the eye, but
you can feel her in the air
swirling and free
her home is everywhere
but she comes from the core
she dances green
she is the unruly tongue
that will protect
this body
place
child
at all costs
